Location: Vienna, Virginia, United States

A graduate of Dartmouth College (2005) and Washington and Lee University School of Law (2010). These are my personal blogs, and the musings expressed on them do not reflect the positions of my employer. They do reflect my readings, thoughts, and aspirations, which I figure is good enough.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

The Silver Screen

3 . . . 2 . . . 1

Inaction. I have not watched one movie this term that I had not seen before. I've only rented one movie, "Best In Show", and I usually rent upwards of 8 a term. I haven't been to the Nugget, our antiquated cinema, at all this term. Of the DVD's I have, I've seen all the movies before, unless you count the new Star Wars DVD's. Suppresses gag reflex.

Anyway, it's rather strange because I've become used to watching a lot of films. Whether it is postwar Japanese film for a class (one of the best I've taken here, incidentally), or part of the strangely trite film society, or just a new release, I'm pretty accustomed to taking a few new movies in every term.

Freshman year was a little extreme, as I went to a few too many artsy films at the Loew, including "Humanite", three hours of unattractive sex that I was more than glad to doze through. Oh, and "Taboo", the homoerotic samurai film that Jordan rented because he was looking for a good action movie. The absurdity of that moment must have been palpable.

"Hedwig and the Angry Inch" might have been the best movie I saw in four years off the Film Society Pass, and it was pretty good.

Besides that, the Nugget sometimes brought films in late, but I still saw Episide II, the Harry Potters, the Lord of the Rings, and various other popcorn flicks over the past few years.

I don't know if it's me, with more work and less time to spend in the theater, or if it's just a slow movie season. There really hasn't been a blockbuster out this term, no huge sci fi releases, and before "Alexander" comes out, no big grunting man movies. Part of me is tempted to thank the possibility that it is a slow season, as I don't really need distractions this term. But if you think about it, since September, what films have come out worth seeing?

"The Incredibles"? I'll probably catch that at some point. "Kinsey" and "Ray" sound like they might be entertaining, although biopics inevitably open themselves up to scrutiny regarding artistic license and accuracy. I am very tempted by "Finding Neverland" though. I might have to see that one at some point. I'm glad that Kate Winslet is making a popular resurgence. She's really a good actress that got a bum rap for five seconds of infamous placement at the prow of an ill-fated luxury liner.

I'm not interested in "Saw" or similar horror films, or "The Grudge", or even a movie that might normally interest me like "I *Heart* Huckabees", which seems actually a little too existential, if such a thing is possible. And there's no way I'm seeing any of the silly sequels that seem to make themselves, like "Seed of Chucky", or the soon to be released "Blade: Trinity" (and don't get me started on wondering why there is an "Underworld II" in the works).

As for upcoming releases, they don't look particularly interesting either. And there are still a lot of sequels. Two I've already mentioned, but there's also "Bridget Jones", which I will pass on, thank you very much. And "Ocean's Twelve", which may or may not be as good as the first one. First remake, I mean.

Christmas season (yes, that time of year already) usually promises a few big movies, but they're really not promoting any huge ones this year it seems. "Meet the Fockers" will be a movie that I would not subject a nazi war criminal, or Slobodan Milosevic, or Ariel Sharon to, and a Joel Schumacher version of "The Phantom of the Opera" has "Come! to the Bat Cave! I mean, eponymous, inexplicably extravagant underground lair!" written all over it. My god. I can't imagine what idiot chose Joel Schumacher to direct a movie adaptation of "Phantom of the Opera", a project that sounds like it originated on a contract of the Satanic persuasion. Not that Phantom was even that great in the first place, but it does have interpretive potential.

Bill Murray's "The Aquatic Life of Steve Zissou" or something like that, looks pretty cool, if only because Bill Murray is one of those people that could make something like a game of Jenga into a work of art. He's that cool.

Next year I see something about an "Elektra" movie in January? The trailer makes it look like "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" with mutants. And bigger boobies. And it looks like Kelly Hu is playing yet another stereotypical asian female role (apparently the long nails of Lady Deathstryke weren't quite enough). Unless it's not Kelly Hu and they got another woman that looks like her to tackle Jennifer Garner into a homoerotic situation.

Because obviously that homoerotic situation is acceptable by the vast majority of the populace, while people are uncomfortable about Colin Farrell's scenes with Jared Leto in "Alexander". There's also supposedly an extremely irrelevant homoerotic scene in "After the Sunset" in addition to various other gay-bashing moments in the film. It's ok if they're girls and they end up ripping each other's clothes off. Mud or water is icing on the cake. Icing would be icing on the cake as well.

Kelly Hu has played . . . an evil dragon lady that dies role in a DMX film (I think), an evil, non-speaking dragon lady mutant character that dies in X-Men II, an evil dragon lady sorceress who the evil dragon lady-ness (and sorceress-ness, rendering her completely helpless) is fucked out of in "The Scorpion King", and . . . am I noticing a trend here? The only thing I can think of her doing that could exploit more stereotypes would be an evil dragon lady villain that owns a chain of laundromats and restaurants by day and robs banks by night, stealthily and ninjalike. With sexy coldblooded precision. There would be an elaborate fight scene in both locales, of course, the latter resulting in an uncomfortably erotic death scene. John Woo, if you take that idea, I'm suing. But I guess if that's what she's good at, who am I to complain?

I'm glad that Michelle Yeoh has only been in a couple of big movies here, "Tomorrow Never Dies" and Jackie Chan's "Supercop" series being the only ones that I can think of.

Mmmm . . . icing

Update: Kelly Hu is NOT in "Elektra" so I can only conclude that it is another asian woman with long nails in tight leather who looks a lot like her. This is not to suggest that she is taking different roles however; one of her next two screen credits is for a role in the made for TV movie "The Librarian" in which she plays a member of the "Serpent Brotherhood". I don't think this is a great career move, an unnamed role in a made for TV action movie, so if I were Ms. Hu, I would be on the market for a new agent.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Incredibles was good man, very good. Somewhat un-Pixar-like, due to the different director and screenwriter, but a very enjoyable movie.

Are they really going to make Underworld 2? I mean, did they see the first one?


4:32 PM  

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