Location: Vienna, Virginia, United States

A graduate of Dartmouth College (2005) and Washington and Lee University School of Law (2010). These are my personal blogs, and the musings expressed on them do not reflect the positions of my employer. They do reflect my readings, thoughts, and aspirations, which I figure is good enough.

Saturday, January 29, 2005


Dreeb! The Original Star Wars Fanbase is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Director, George Lucas. There are no heroes. Mundanity is everywhere.

In a stunning move, the fiendish robot actress Natalie Portman has swept into the hearts of fanboys and kidnapped Good Taste, leader of the Discerning Mind.

As the Pitiful CGI Excuses for Actors attempt to flee our beseiged psyches with their valuable Box Office Take, two Reluctant Heroes of Old lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive Good Taste....

Thus begins Star Wars, Episode 3.02: Revenge of the Forgotten

Starring: Billy Dee Williams as Lando Calrissian, and Dennis Lawson as Wedge Antilles, who adventure across the galaxy in Calrissian's Converted Luxury Yacht, the Lady Luck, attempting to stop movie-making folly that will ruin their chances at ever making lucrative appearances at Sci-Fi cons again.

Actually, the real title crawl for Revenge of the Sith debuted today. It can be read here , along with the title crawls of the other 5 movies.

It's the only crawl that has felt it necessary to start off with a bang. Or rather, an exclamation of "War!"

I'm thinking that they're trying to evoke Christopher Lee as Saruman in "Two Towers" as a bit of pseudo-clever writing, but it comes off as more William Li circa Third Grade. Although I think I was capable of better exposition then.

I was definitely better at exposition come to think of it. And so was Lucas, in 1977 it seems. The crawl for the 1977 "A New Hope" reads much better than whatever the heck this is.

I encourage anyone reading this to come up with their own title crawl parodying the one for Episode III. I'm sure I'd be very entertained by the responses.

Oh and in unrelated news, Sammy Sosa will likely be an Oriole in a day or two. The trade is Sosa for displaced 2nd baseman Jerry Hairston Jr. and two-four prospects.

I would expect that the prospects involved would be fairly high rated ones. Val Majewski and John Maine are the big names that stand out, and any one of the two, along with a lower level prospect, would constitute a solid trade, as long as the Cubs take on part of Sosa's monster salary. Sosa is old and won't be the star he was five years ago, but he'll be good for attracting fans. As for knocking runs in, we'll leave that up to Miguel Tejada.

Majewski is their top prospect, but was injured late last year, so I would expect Maine to leave.

The Orioles might not miss him though. My favorite in their system right now is David Haehnel, a 2004 draftee (I believe that protects him from trades) that closed for Baltimore's A-level Aberdeen Ironbirds with a gaudy 61 K's in 37 innings along with a 1.21 ERA. I say this because he's a smart pitcher, and has good stuff, a fastball in the low 90's with movement and a plus changeup. He should move through the system quickly.


Blogger Satchmo said...

Ok, so neither Majewski or Maine were in on the Sosa trade. So sue me. Not Peter Gammons here, people.

The Orioles got the Cubs to pay for a large chunk of Sosa's salary, and gave up an extra 2B/LF and two midlevel prospects. The worst case scenario, Sosa declines further. But even then he's probably a lock for 30 HR and at least 90 RBI.

Best of all, tons of ticket sales. That's what Angelos is all about, and Sosa by some accounts has already been paid for in ticket sales.

I also don't know about the rumors of a deal to keep Sosa out of Washington, but it actually makes a lot of sense.

2:07 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home