Location: Vienna, Virginia, United States

A graduate of Dartmouth College (2005) and Washington and Lee University School of Law (2010). These are my personal blogs, and the musings expressed on them do not reflect the positions of my employer. They do reflect my readings, thoughts, and aspirations, which I figure is good enough.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Hit or Miss

Ok, this thought came to me after I took my thesis to be bound (sounds kinkier than it was, I guarantee).

Xzibit hosts the MTV show "Pimp My Ride." And I know there are plenty of other reality shows now that are devoted to similar pursuits - remodeling houses, remodeling cars, remodeling people, remodeling models, etc. etc.

This is my idea for a reality TV show along those lines.

Instead of "Pimp My Ride," it would be called "Dress My Wound."

Xzibit, and a team of trained medical technicians would be responsible for taking care of someone's serious injury. They would have to clean the wound, dress it, and stop the bleeding, doing any required amputations in the process. Instead of dolling up a '67 Impala, they would creatively deal with a guy who accidentally impaled himself on some large piece of metal.

I think it has possibilities. Work with me now.

Like people videotape themselves pleading for Xzibit to pimp their rides, they would do the same for their injuries.

"Xzibit, please Dress My Wound. It's been a couple of days and it's starting to smell funky. My fever is rising and I'm starting to see things."

They would do things creatively, like giving someone a pair of gold crutches or something like that.

"Xzibit, these gold crutches studded with bling is the SHIT. Thanks for dressing my wound man!"

Or they could do other things.

"Now, normally we would have just filled the cavity, but I've also implanted a radio transmitter so Mr. ___ can pick up his favorite hip-hop stations."

"We had to amputate the gangrenous limb, but that's ok. I've replaced his leg below the knee with a prosthetic which will make him move much faster, won't break down, AND dispenses Cristal."

"Now, your hand was pretty messed up after you pulled it out of the meat grinder, but thanks to us, we've improved on your old hand. See, these sensors on your hand can also be used as a universal remote control to turn on your TV."

And of course there's always:

"No need to worry about your legs, kid. Because your wheelchair comes complete with 14 inch spinning chrome rims. Pretty slick, huh?"


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