Location: Vienna, Virginia, United States

A graduate of Dartmouth College (2005) and Washington and Lee University School of Law (2010). These are my personal blogs, and the musings expressed on them do not reflect the positions of my employer. They do reflect my readings, thoughts, and aspirations, which I figure is good enough.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Top Ten

I mentioned to my journalism professor today that fan interference at sporting events really isn't anything new. One might argue that violence is up, but even that is rather tentative, considering Ty Cobb is dead. I did mention fans like Morgana the Kissing Bandit, who, in the early and mid eighties, made a name for herself running onto the field to try to kiss baseball players.

That got me thinking along different lines. I remember that Morgana was a running (literally) gag in Letterman Top Ten lists. Not surprising, but when I checked it out, I was surprised at how well they've aged overall.

For example, this one is nice and timeless:

December 27th, 1990

Top 10 Reject Bowl Game Titles

10. The Ben-Gay Bowl
9. The White Guys All-Star Game
8. The Cupless Classic
7. The Festival of Big Sweaty Men on Steroids
6. I Don't Think It's a Fracture But I Can't Be Sure Until We Take
Some X-Rays Bowl
5. Saddam Hussein's Scrimmage unto Death
4. The Guys Who Came Really Close To Passing Their Drug Test Classic
3. The Tournament of Hoses
2. Sissy Boy Slap Party
1. Manute Bowl

Considering that we have things now like the Cornchip and Salsa Bowl in NCAA football, or whatever, this was a pretty farseeing Top Ten list. The Manute Bol reference is slightly old, but still. . .

In fact, there are very few shocking facts that jump out when perusing the old (1987-1993) Top Ten lists. And of course, I will present them as a top ten list (that isn't really that funny).


Top Ten Things I've Noticed About Old Top Ten Lists

10. The sheer number of political references. It looks like 70% of the lists are about international or domestic politics. Now, this might be a result of the fall of Communism and the Berlin Wall, and the fact that Dan Quayle really couldn't spell potato, but I don't think we would have seen a top ten list like "Top Ten Questions about David Souter" today. Granted, there hasn't been a Supreme Court appointee for a while.

9. Michael Jackson was a freak back then too.

8. George Steinbrenner was, is, and always will be a grade-a asshole, albeit a rich one.

7. The Top Ten things that sound dirty but really aren't (Feb 3, 1986) still sound dirty.

6. New York did have and still has a wonderful reputation that it secretly enjoys, that of a foul-mouthed, crime-ridden cesspool filled with rats and . . . well, cess. Although Letterman lost a lot of material when Giuliani started cleaning up the homeless and 42nd St.

5. Ted Kennedy was a morbidly obese alcoholic back then too.

4. There were a lot more sports lists. On top of that, very few basketball ones and tons of baseball ones.

3. Kind of a continuation of 4. The Yankees were mocked a whole lot more than the Mets in the late 80's mostly because they sucked so much. Kind of puts a perspective on things.

2. Check out the Top Ten list from July 11th, 1990. It could have been repeated during last years DNC.

1. The Greatest Top Ten list EVER: April 4, 1991. "


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