Nobel Laureate
Daily Dylan Diatribe
I like Bob Dylan, I really do. Wonderful songwriter, unique voice. But he went popular a long time ago and while that's not always a bad thing, he gave up any credibility he ever had as a real poet. He's not a real poet. He's a songwriter that can occasionally whip up good imagery and evoke nostalgic feelings, which makes him a good songwriter. But not a poet. And yet we have a class for him at Dartmouth. And yet there are those that would give him a Nobel Prize for Literature.
If I could write a hundred lines of repetitive verse a year and get a Nobel Prize for it, well, I would be Bob Dylan I suppose. I've said it before and I'll say it again; Gordon Lightfoot was a much better musician and songwriter. If you give Dylan a Nobel Prize, you should give Paul Simon one. And Lightfoot. And Cat Stevens. And Lennon, posthumously, perhaps on the 25th anniversary of his death next year (but not Ringo or Paul - they're hacks). And Cobain, posthumously. And Maynard from Tool. And Trent Reznor (maybe I should make it a point to mention Reznor every time I post). And how about female singer songwriters? Joni Mitchell deserves one if Bob Dylan does. Tori Amos has been pretty prolific and influential. Why limit it to Songs that White People write? Oye Como Va isn't poetic? Bob Marley wrote some really great lyrics, if you put down the joint and listen to them. If you listen to Outkast, some of it is plenty poetic. And Ludacris? Don't get me started. Oops, too late.
"You gotta run in your pantyhos
Even your daddy knows
that you suckin down chocolate like daddy-o's
You hos are horrible, horrendous
On taxes ya'll writin off hos as dependents
I see tha ho risin
it aint surprisin
its just a hoasis
with ugly chicks faces
but hos dont feel so sad and blue
cuz most of us niggaz is hos too" - Ludacris - "Ho"
If any of the above seems a little silly to you, then you're beginning to understand the absolute stupidity of giving Bob Dylan a Nobel Prize for Literature. He's not just NOT a poet, he's not as poetic as other songwriters. Might as well nominate Bono for the Nobel Peace Prize. Oh . . .wait, they did. Uno, Dos, Tres, Catorce? One Two Three Fourteen? All the philanthropy and goodwill must be infringing on his songwriting ability. What happened to expressing political opinion in song, Bono? Why doesn't The Edge come and slap some sense into you? Shouldn't Dolores O'Riordan from The Cranberries be chasing you down like a Fury with a flaming Scourge right now? And know this, Bono, I only criticize because I love you. It's for your own good.
So in conclusion, Andre 3000 for the 2005 Nobel Prize for Literature. I can just picture Andre 3000 getting a smooch from the king of Sweden.
Actually, I take some of that back.
I really like that John Lennon idea. Can we start a Lennon for Nobel Prize movement? Next December 8th, it will have been 25 years since that punk snuffed out the light of one of the most influential, most eccentric, most popular, and, according to the US Government, most dangerous people of the Twentieth Century. No, Chapman should NOT be let out of jail. And yes, we should recognize Lennon somehow. Because I think over the past 10-15 years, due to Yoko's craziness and George's silence and Ringo's ringoness and Paul's stint with Wings, we've forgotten what a wonderful writer and thinker and man John Lennon was. But you would have to give him the Literature prize, since his words apparently have been set aside, gone dormant, in this time of hate. So that would disqualify him for the Peace Prize. I wish we lived in a world where the wonderful lyrical abstractions, the mere words, of a man like Lennon could be as effective as the goodwill actions of a celebrity or a political head of state. Because those words are powerful, and I truly think that if more people paid them attention now, and back then too, that we would be in a better world. All one can do is keep the faith, I suppose. We might come around someday.
Where did that come from?
I like Bob Dylan, I really do. Wonderful songwriter, unique voice. But he went popular a long time ago and while that's not always a bad thing, he gave up any credibility he ever had as a real poet. He's not a real poet. He's a songwriter that can occasionally whip up good imagery and evoke nostalgic feelings, which makes him a good songwriter. But not a poet. And yet we have a class for him at Dartmouth. And yet there are those that would give him a Nobel Prize for Literature.
If I could write a hundred lines of repetitive verse a year and get a Nobel Prize for it, well, I would be Bob Dylan I suppose. I've said it before and I'll say it again; Gordon Lightfoot was a much better musician and songwriter. If you give Dylan a Nobel Prize, you should give Paul Simon one. And Lightfoot. And Cat Stevens. And Lennon, posthumously, perhaps on the 25th anniversary of his death next year (but not Ringo or Paul - they're hacks). And Cobain, posthumously. And Maynard from Tool. And Trent Reznor (maybe I should make it a point to mention Reznor every time I post). And how about female singer songwriters? Joni Mitchell deserves one if Bob Dylan does. Tori Amos has been pretty prolific and influential. Why limit it to Songs that White People write? Oye Como Va isn't poetic? Bob Marley wrote some really great lyrics, if you put down the joint and listen to them. If you listen to Outkast, some of it is plenty poetic. And Ludacris? Don't get me started. Oops, too late.
"You gotta run in your pantyhos
Even your daddy knows
that you suckin down chocolate like daddy-o's
You hos are horrible, horrendous
On taxes ya'll writin off hos as dependents
I see tha ho risin
it aint surprisin
its just a hoasis
with ugly chicks faces
but hos dont feel so sad and blue
cuz most of us niggaz is hos too" - Ludacris - "Ho"
If any of the above seems a little silly to you, then you're beginning to understand the absolute stupidity of giving Bob Dylan a Nobel Prize for Literature. He's not just NOT a poet, he's not as poetic as other songwriters. Might as well nominate Bono for the Nobel Peace Prize. Oh . . .wait, they did. Uno, Dos, Tres, Catorce? One Two Three Fourteen? All the philanthropy and goodwill must be infringing on his songwriting ability. What happened to expressing political opinion in song, Bono? Why doesn't The Edge come and slap some sense into you? Shouldn't Dolores O'Riordan from The Cranberries be chasing you down like a Fury with a flaming Scourge right now? And know this, Bono, I only criticize because I love you. It's for your own good.
So in conclusion, Andre 3000 for the 2005 Nobel Prize for Literature. I can just picture Andre 3000 getting a smooch from the king of Sweden.
Actually, I take some of that back.
I really like that John Lennon idea. Can we start a Lennon for Nobel Prize movement? Next December 8th, it will have been 25 years since that punk snuffed out the light of one of the most influential, most eccentric, most popular, and, according to the US Government, most dangerous people of the Twentieth Century. No, Chapman should NOT be let out of jail. And yes, we should recognize Lennon somehow. Because I think over the past 10-15 years, due to Yoko's craziness and George's silence and Ringo's ringoness and Paul's stint with Wings, we've forgotten what a wonderful writer and thinker and man John Lennon was. But you would have to give him the Literature prize, since his words apparently have been set aside, gone dormant, in this time of hate. So that would disqualify him for the Peace Prize. I wish we lived in a world where the wonderful lyrical abstractions, the mere words, of a man like Lennon could be as effective as the goodwill actions of a celebrity or a political head of state. Because those words are powerful, and I truly think that if more people paid them attention now, and back then too, that we would be in a better world. All one can do is keep the faith, I suppose. We might come around someday.
Where did that come from?
posted by Satchmo | 10:14 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home